Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
