great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
