Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
