did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
