he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
