I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
