Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Alive.
So much puke
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
