I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
