yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
