I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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