Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
