That's intense
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
