party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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