Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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