you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
