shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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