the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
