didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
