babies were throwing up all over the place
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
