I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
