She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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