Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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