i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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