I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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