i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize