It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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