I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
