Do vagina's smell?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
