Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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