And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize