i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
