Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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