we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
