I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hippo gnu deer
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
