really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
