Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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