hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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