All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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