So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
