Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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