I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
