This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
