so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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