She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
