I puked a lego.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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