Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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