I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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