Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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