why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
