I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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