I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
