I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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