I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize