Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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