Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
