I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
