I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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