Nicole vs. Life
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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