After last night, I could never be a politician.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
