were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
