i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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