Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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