It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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