Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
