I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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