Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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